


'Il faut épater le bourgeois

by LaggingUniverse



Category: Bakugan Battle Brawlers
Genre: April Fools' Day, I dont think anyone will even see this, I forgot Percival didnt I, Other, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, anyway happy prank day, at least, but honestly the fandom is so dead, ill probably delete this by tonight, not until may, whatever idec anymore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-01
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2019-04-16 14:42:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14167140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaggingUniverse/pseuds/LaggingUniverse
Summary: I'm not even gonna try to pretend this isn't a prank fic





	'Il faut épater le bourgeois

Three days. In hindsight, Marucho was a bit impressed at how long Dan held out.

  
On that day, Marucho had found some lemon juice in the pantry that was about to go bad and made a pitcher of lemonade with the juice leftover from the lemon sponge cake he’d put in the oven. Ace came in to see where the smell was coming from, and told Marucho he could see figures approaching the Base from the window. Dan and Baron were returning from another practice brawl, both looking tired and agitated.

  
“You’re back early.” Ace taunted. Dan walked by him without so much as the usual stinkeye.

  
Baron smelled the cake and gratefully accepted a glass of lemonade from Marucho. He finished the whole thing in two gulps and wiped his mouth on his shirt.

  
Ace wasn’t satisfied yet. “What’s the matter, Baron? Is your ‘master’ starting to loose his touch?”

  
“He’s just having a bad day.” Baron defended as he rinsed his cup in the sink. “Master Drago was still at the top of his game, but Master Dan was feeling pretty beat after the first round.”

  
“I noticed it, too.” Marucho sighed. “I hope we can get him out of this funk soon. He’s just not himself.”

  
_You guys talk about Dan a lot._ Elfin observed from her bowl of water. Nemus leapt off Baron’s shoulder and tried to climb in next to her. _Hey! What do you think you’re doing?! Get your own bowl! Aren’t you a haos, anyway?_

  
_Fighting a pyrus is thirsty work._ Nemus retorted as Baron picked him back up and held him by the stream of water from the sink faucet.

  
“How about we chill under that lamp you like, instead?” Baron suggested as Nemus drank. “That always seems to power you back up again.”

  
_That’d be great._ Nemus sighed, then folded up into a sphere.

  
Baron thanked Marucho for the lemonade, then left. Ace had already refused to take one earlier, jokingly claiming that Marucho’s cooking might be poisoned, so he left too.

  
Marucho took a few minutes to himself to finish his own glass while he waited for the cake. He listened to Elfin splash around in her bowl until she got bored and hopped over to demand he let her have some lemonade. Marucho poured her a short glass and opened the oven to check the status of the cake. A wall of steam hit him in the face, and he had to take a moment to clean off his glasses. He stuck in a fork and and pulled it out totally clean. He grabbed a pair of oven mitts and a hot plate, then carefully lifted the cake out of the oven and set it on the hotplate to cool.

  
_This lemonade stuff is **awful!**_ Eflin cried out suddenly. _It’s too sticky!_

  
Marucho tried to hold back a chuckle, but he couldn’t hide his face fast enough.

  
_It’s. Not. **FUNNY**_ **.** Elfin growled, heading back into her water bowl to wash off. Marucho nodded in agreement to placate her and poured the last of the lemonade into two cups.

  
“I’m gonna see if Mira and Dan want these.” Marucho told her as he walked out of the kitchen. “Wanna come?”

  
_I’m good._ Elfin grunted, climbing over the rim of the bowl and falling in with a plop.

  
Marucho knew that Mira would be in the garage doing repairs, so that’s where he was going first.

  
Marucho could hear the sounds of Mira working before he opened the door. But when he did, it turned out to be even better than what he was expecting. Mira was sitting at her workbench, bent over a disassembled wheel. But the rest of the motorcycle looked nearly ready to ride again.

  
“Is it almost done?” Marucho asked excitedly before he remembered his manners. Mira didn’t seem to mind as she looked up from her work and took off her magnifying goggles.

  
“Nearly.” She said with a proud smile. “I just need to readjust the shock absorbers on the front wheel and reattach it, then she’ll be ready to cruise.”

  
“Then how about a lemonade to celebrate?” Marucho held one out to her and Mira removed one of her grease-smeared work gloves to take it. She took a big glup and nearly choked.

  
“...Is it bad?” Marucho asked with a hint of worry. There was a lot more worry when Mira visibly gagged before she swallowed the drink.

  
“No! No, it’s just--” She coughed. “...sweet.”

  
_She tells me that she doesn’t like sweet foods._ Wilda peeked out of her jacket pocket. _I can’t relate._

  
“I like sweet foods perfectly fine!” Mira poked her partner back into the pocket. “It’s added sugar I don’t like.” Marucho was a bit sorry to hear that, but at least he knew Dan had no such aversions to sugar.

  
Suddenly, he heard something.

  
“Did you guys hear that?” Marucho asked, turning to the open door he’d just walked through. “That...dragging noise?”

  
Mira and Wilda listened, too. There was a strange scraping noise coming from the other room, like something big and heavy being dragged across the floor.

  
Marucho shot Mira a worried look, and the both of them ran into the main base.

  
The scraping noise had stopped, but coming from the same direction were a multitude of shuffling noises to replace it. The two brawlers followed the sound down the hallway and past the sleeping quarters, noticing that all of the doors were ajar. Mira quickly stuck her head into one of the rooms.

  
“The bedsheets and pillows are missing.” Mira reported. “And all of the clothes are on the floor.”

  
“Looks the same in all of them.” Marucho mused. “What happened?”

  
A muffled thump reminded the two of the original mystery, and they quickly headed towards the source.They rounded a corner and were about to enter the livingroom when Mira tripped over the coffee table.

  
The scream of pain from her shin smacking full force into reinforced wood was abruptly cut off as she fell over the table and face first into the carpet on the other side, upending the table so that it balanced on its end for two blissful moments before falling on Mira’s crumpled form as though it had a God given duty to rub salt into the wound.

  
“MIRA!” Marucho nearly dropped the glass he was holding. He set it on the floor and dragged the table off the Resistance Leader by its leg.

  
Mira coughed and sat up. She held open her pocket to check up on her now slightly squashed passenger. “You alright, Wilda?”

  
_...Ow…_ Wilda moaned.

  
“Mira? What happened?” Ace called from a distance.

  
Hurried footsteps came up from behind Marucho, and Baron stopped just before the doorway where Mira had met her downfall.

  
“Is everything okay? I heard...what…” Baron trailed off, looking past Marucho into the scene in the living room. “...What is master Dan doing?”

  
Marucho blinked and looked up. All of the couches in the living room had been pushed into a single ring of furniture, like someone had taken a sofa in Sims and stretched out the surface area of its cushions and put three more sofa backs on each side so that you would have to climb over one of them to sit down.

  
And sitting in the middle of this sofa cluster was Dan, who was surrounded by a cocoon of blankets and pillows that had been knocked askew when he had sat up in bewilderment at his teammate nearly snapping her neck.

  
“Dan?” Marucho asked.

  
“Sorry about that,” Dan called sheepishly from his perch. “I didn’t think you guys would come running in here.”

  
“Master Dan?” Baron asked in bewilderment.

  
“Yeah?” He replied a little too sweetly for the situation.

  
Ace came through the other entrance, took one look at his surroundings and had to take a moment to mentally update to the situation.

  
“Kuuso.” He growled, stomping up to the human in question. “Explain. NOW.”

  
Dan gulped and laughed nervously. “Sorry about the mess, totally my fault. I just really needed to make a nest to destress, you know?”

  
“...You…” Ace squinted in confusion. “...pushed all the couches into a circle...for stress relief?”

  
“Then why did Mira fall over?” Baron asked.

  
“Uh--yeah, exactly, what does that have to do with Mira falling over?”

  
“I tripped over a table and upended it.” Mira admitted, clutching ont of the couchbacks to drag herself up. “It’s really my fault, I should’ve been--OW owowowowowwwww…” She lowered herself into a sitting position on the floor. “Yep, that’s sprained.”

  
Baron moved to help her, but Dan got there first. He crawled over on his elbows to Mira, reached over the couch, grabbed her by the underarms and hoisted her into the nest.

  
“Baron, could you go get some ice?” Mira suggested. Baron jumped to go get it, nearly tripping over the table himself on the way out.

  
“Oh, that reminds me!” Marucho grabbed the lemonade glass from the floor and held it out to Dan. “I didn’t get to offer you any earlier.”

  
Dan took it and finished it in two gulps. Baron came back with an icepack wrapped in a towel. He held it out to Mira and stood awkwardly off to the side as she applied it to her ankle.

  
“You guys can come in if you want.” Dan offered. Marucho and Baron didn’t need to be told twice, the immediately kicked off their shoes and climbed over the side, careful to avoid the area Mira was sitting on. Ace crossed his arms and glared at them all.

  
“Hmph! Buncha dorks.” He turned to leave.

  
“Too cool, huh?” Dan huffed.

  
“C’mon, Ace!” Baron pleaded.

  
“First the lemonade, now this.” Marucho sighed.

  
“Ace.” He stopped when Mira spoke up. He turned around to shoot her a glare.

  
She didn’t blink. “Come back and sit with us. Team bonding exercise.”

  
“Captain's orders!” Baron teased with a beaming smile.

  
Ace kicked off his shoes with more force than necessary, sat down on the edge of the couch, swung his legs over, and sunk into the cushions and mismatched pillows.

  
“Alright, here we are. Five grown teenagers sitting in a ‘nest’ like a bunch of school kids at a slumber party.”

  
“Baron’s still twelve.” Mira reminded him.

  
“Twelve and a half!” He insisted, electing a stifled laugh from his teammates.

  
Mira scooped Wilda from her pocket and set him down on the towel. “I don’t know if this’ll help, but…”

  
_Thanks anyway._ Wilda said with the closest thing to a shrug a bakugan could manage.

  
_I was wondering when you’d make a new nest, Dan. D_ rago spoke up from his brawler’s shoulder. _You’ve been looking stressed out lately._

  
“Did he do this on earth, too?” Mira asked.

  
_Yes. All the time, in fact._

  
“I invited him to a sleepover at my house once.” Marucho recalled. “The first thing he did was drag as many pillows and couch cushions as he could find into a pile to make a nest fort.”

  
“That was the best nest _ever_.” Dan’s eyes clouded over as he recalled fond memories of sleepovers with friends.

  
“So...are nests are an earth thing?” Ace ventured.

  
“You don’t have them on Vestal?” Dan replied.

  
“No.” the three vestals chorused.

  
“They don’t have shampoo separate from regular soap, Dan.” Marucho gently reminded him. “I don’t think this would be too surprising.”

  
“I mean, I get that, but,” Dan looked around at them. “What do you do when you go into heat?”

  
Silence settled on the circle of child revolutionaries.

  
“...Heat?” Baron asked.

  
“Is that a human thing?” Ace deadpanned.

  
“Probably.” Mira observed Dan and Marucho’s facial journeys. In perfect sync, the two humans expression cycled through surprise, to realization, to slight dawning horror.

  
“Nevermind.” Dan said, with a wave of his hand. “I was just joking.”

  
_Don’t bother asking._ Drago warned to the confused vestals as Dan sunk into his nest, looking much more stressed than before. _He never explains these things, even to me._


End file.
